Due to what I now identify as my vata nature, I tend to have a very active mind when I’m out of balance. Not always in a good way, either. Sometimes I feel like I have so many thoughts in my head that it’s like a hamster on a wheel, constantly rotating, going nowhere. I can think about things so much that the line between truth and fiction get a little blurry. The past few months, I’ve been dealing with some internal and external issues in my life that I felt needed to be resolved, but I wasn’t sure how or when. I hoped that the teacher training process would give me some tools to deal with these situations. And boy have they!
For one thing, practicing being present has been incredibly grounding. It’s not healthy to spend too much time in the past or the future. When you’re stuck on either end of the spectrum, you’re taking energy away from dealing with the now, and the now is when you make the decisions that affect your future.
Breathing, the practice of pranayama, has helped calm me down in so many instances, that I now unconsciously “return to my breath” (in yoga speak :). It hasn’t always been easy, but the more you practice something, the more it becomes part of you without having to work so hard. I’ve had to continually consciously redirect my thoughts from ping-ponging back and forth from past to future. This process is almost second nature now.
After my last teacher training class (the one with the good ol’ yoga cry), I have been not-so-slowly moving toward this amazing sense of clarity. My two biggest worries required that I make a decision in order to move forward. One, I was working toward, but without a plan. The other, I was sort of trying to ignore, hoping that I’d know what to do eventually.
Since that class, I have had an entire mental shift that is leading me down the path of resolution. I took a step toward freeing myself from the burden of one of the things that was keeping me tethered and as soon as I took that step, almost immediately, I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Once that weight was lifted, I made a decision. Two actually, concerning both of the issues.
That was two days ago and today, as I have walked around from the train to the office, or just down the hall, I feel physically light. Almost like I’m floating. I’ve never experienced this sort of lightness before and it’s incredible! And I know with all the certainty in the world that this yoga journey has been the catalyst.